I Am A Racist – Confessions Of A Diseased Gen X-er
Yes, you heard me right. I am a racist. And I venture to suggest that you might be too, if you’re honest with yourself about it.
Recent events in South Africa have, to borrow Jenny Crwys-Williams of Talk Radio 702′s phrase, “lanced a boil” filled with putrid racist muck, and the contents are spilling out over everyone.
While listening to one of the many debates raging over extremists Malema, Terre’Blanche and everyone inbetween, I started thinking about racism. What it means, what it is and just how big a role prejudice plays in my own life. It’s at times like this that I cannot avoid asking of myself, “what example do you set, where do you stand and how can you contribute positively to this situation”.
In discussion with a good friend over lunch the other day, he challenged me when our conversation drifted to examining what roles we would have played if we had been born 25 years earlier, and found ourselves responsible, mature white South African adults faced with the reality of Apartheid at it’s ugliest. Would I have been a vocal activist against the atrocities or would I have chosen to pretty much ignore the situation, like so many good South Africans did. As the saying goes, all that needs to happen for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.
I have some strong opinions about racism, opinions I want to share with you and hear your thoughts about. Some of them might not be easy to hear but I trust you’ll hear my heart and understand my intentions.
I think racism is a disease, and a hereditary one at that. My son, at 5 years of age, does not make any distinction between himself and his good friend Tsepelo. He does not see colour. He doesn’t know (yet) that black people are supposed to be worse at keeping to appointments (“Africa Time”) – and I’m using the most harmless example of prejudice I can think of – because he hasn’t been told yet. Every single negative thing I’ve ever ‘known’ about black people has been injected in my mind by some joke, jibe or sideways comment, and choosing to listen or repeat that means I am electively racist. I used to think all black people drove badly because all taxi drivers are black and they all drive badly, right? That was until I took a cab in New York… It turns out cab drivers are bad drivers, not black drivers.
Sometimes I’ve heard racism in the fears and deepest concerns of those closest to me, and how can I blame my father when he himself inherited this disgusting disease from his ancestors and propagandist breeding grounds like the army? I know for a fact the exposure my dad has had to black people and black culture at work, and the fact that my mom teaches at a government school where 99% of the kids are black, has changed both their perspectives on black people remarkably. But still traces remain – the same traces that are buried deep down in my heart, as much as I have tried very consciously to dispel them.
Despite the tectonic shift in our country’s reality in 1994, racism can not be obliterated in a day, or a month, or even a year. Deep-seated racism and racist prejudices, be they white against black or vice versa, will take generations to eliminate, and even then you’ll still likely have extremists on either end of the spectrum. Racism is a rusty blade that was thrust deep into the heart of our country through years of slavery, discrimination and Apartheid, and even though many of us – the majority of us – try to heal the wound every day a small minority on either side insists on picking the scab, agitating the infection – the infection that diseases all of us.
How then do we overcome? I want to believe that my children will grow up in a South Africa, in a world, where racism is a memory and not a reality, but I know in my heart of hearts that is not a possibility. Maybe their children, and even more likely their grand-children, will hopefully get a taste of a world like that. A good practical example of this is the contentious issue of transformation in SA sports. Honestly – until we allow one or two generations of young black sportsmen and women to rise up the ranks through equal opportunity and recognition of their natural talents, teams will continue to be chosen on colour and not on merit (which is the issue people have with transformation). When we’ve achieved that, 90% of players in teams (rugby, cricket or soccer) will be black. Not because of their skin, because of their ability and the ratio of black to white people in our country. This is pure logic. The point I’m making is that transformation happens in 2, 3 or maybe 4 generations. Not in one team selection meeting, for crying out loud.
I believe the key to overcoming racism is admitting that we can’t do it in one day, or with one TRC, or with one vote. The first step to dealing with our own prejudices will be admitting they exist, which brings me back to the title of this post. I am a racist – I admit it. I bear the scars, the disease, the infection of our past. All my friends inherited it. My children will too. The clincher is what we choose to do with the disease – whether we let it overrun us, or whether we take ARV’s (Anti-Racist Virals :)) to combat it daily. I don’t wan’t to be a racist. Nor do you. So do something about it with me.
Do an exercise for me – take the Implicit Association Test (or IAT) for racism. I discovered the IAT while reading Malcolm Gladwell’s fascinating book Blink. The test seeks to examine our racist prejudices, even the sub-conscious ones. See how you do. Then tell me if you, like me, are in fact a racist in recovery.
I believe the cure to the disease is exposure, connection and relationship. Like Edward Norton’s character in the powerful movie Amrican History X, so often our fears and misconceptions about each other are dispelled when we seek to spend time with each other. Soon our differences become things to celebrate, not mock.
I’m writing this because I don’t think the way to fight racism is by ignoring it. I think we need to face our fears head on, confess our own short-comings, and get our hands dirty in fixing it. I’d like you to hold me accountable in my journey to health, and I trust you’ll share your opinions and thoughts in this regard as you do.
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Not realy stickin your neck out. To be realy truthful would it not better to aproach this by saying no one can claim with 100% certainity that they are not in some small way to some small race out there. Which would include small jokes or culture comments I don’t believe it and I beleive anyone who claims not to be a racist is lying. Plus why are you as a white person so worried most of the racist comments in sa come from black people and especially those in leadership
I think that you have it spot on. We all share some form of racism and its not always to the black person next to us but even to Whites and Indians and Coloureds.
I always say that I firmly abhor racists and racist comments but sometimes I can be just as ugly as them when as you describe, get p’d off with a taxi driver or ‘women drivers’.
Hoping that the future generations are thought by parents like yourself that racism can be removed from our lives. What you do and teach your kids is important. They pick up on our habits and changing those may be the start we want.
Erm, the IAT you linked to says I have a “moderate preference for fat people over thin people”
I suspect that I clicked something wrong somewhere.
So the question is: Does the IAT racism test work the same way?
Because if it does, it is pretty flawed! For the simple reason that I vehemently disagree about having a preference for fat people.
And of course when someone says “I’m not a racist!”, we don’t know whether to believe him/her. But when someone says he “I’m not a fattist! I have lots of fat friends!”, would anyone question that?
Interesting. Did the test and came out as slightly preferring african americans. Perhaps I was trying too hard – white guilt? Is that a form of racism?
I think the two most important statements you’ve made are: “I believe the cure to the disease is exposure, connection and relationship.” and “I think we need to face our fears head on, confess our own short-comings, and get our hands dirty in fixing it.”
@Joe I’m not worried, I’m being honest – and saying most racist comments come from black people is, well, racist…
@ZK absolutely – I include ‘coloureds’ and Indians when saying black, btw ;) Didn’t forget whole races :P
@Henk did you choose the race IAT or the weight IAT – there are different ones for different prejudices ;)
@Vanessa interesting – I tried to honour the conditions of the test by answering along the lines of the instructions provided, you can bend it any way you like if too deliberate (not questioning your results obviously). It’s an interesting one, nonetheless.
Being a fattist is in my opinion un-American
When I was a boy I came across a copy of Steinbeck’s East of Eden. I read it, turned to the beginning, and read it again. It taught me less about good and evil than it did about the difference between evil and the human condition. I guess when you’re young, good and evil, or bad; appear to be the only options on the continuum. But in the character of Cathy Ames, Steinbeck presented a character so terrible that I understood what it meant to lack the essence of what made someone human. To be so atavistically fucking bad that in comparison I no longer sweated the mundane transgressions that occupied my catholic upbringing.
So Mike, if anything at all, you have a mild chill of the human condition. Racism? Nah. Better to guard against hypochondria.
Mike, for long I have thought very much the same. The times you mutter under your breath, or get angry with the news. We all do it, some more blatantly then others, and some who proactively try to make a difference.
I think the point that hits home the most for me though is not who is or “isn’t” or to what degree they are, but as to how it CAN be reduced or removed from society, and just how long its going to happen.
Too many people believe that by doing 1 right thing, it makes all the bad things go away, and thats downright bulls*it.
This is going to take time, and its going to take everybody, black or white, coloured, asian. Until then, it won’t get come right, and it wont get better.
Mike, great post. I think the fact that your son sees no difference between himself and his black friend is testament to your neutrality and “non-racist behaviour” on the issue.
Generalisation is a tough pill to swallow, and even a harder one to change. With the possibility of having to eat some humble pie, I’d be keen for black people to tell me what it is the whites do to anger them. I can then understand their point of reference and do my best to change their perception. And hope others do the same.
And maybe us white people can put ourselves in a black persons situation and try to understand their belief system and reasoning.
Could be a start..
Well said Mike. Back in 1993 I started a social science degree. One of the 1st things we did was an exercise to see whether we understood that we are/were inherently racist (and a whole lot of other things as well.) It is only by understanding the deep roots that ensnare us with prejudices of all kinds that we can hope to break free. And even then I’m yet to be convinced that’s possible for those of my generation. And that’s me saying it as a person who comes from a multi-racial family. We joke among ourselves that we come from all corners of the old British Empire and embody the true meaning of Heinz 57 (varieties.)
I am racist too. I proactively assert silence over my motor mouth.
My nephews know, I will not condone racism in anyform, so helping them becomes occupational therapy for my faults too.
If we teach them to base judgement on fact, talent, instead of race or creed… it’s a step right??
Thought you may be interested in reading this article too.
http://www.sacsis.org.za/site/article/459.1
……………Therefore, the culture that we foster between us is the vital glue for continuity.
For now, though, we are a nation both inwardly and outwardly schizophrenic and suffering from a tendency towards multiple personalities — disorders that can leave outsiders a bit perplexed.
When there is no collective cognitive leap, the recourse is to find security in ethnic and racial enclaves. And so it becomes the world of closed communities and minds that inform the body politic. It’s an irresistible reflex that we are more habituated to than not…….
Okay, I found the right test. It says that I have a “Moderate” preference for African American people over European American people. (I think the results can be Neutral, Slight, Moderate and Strong)
Well, at least now I can exclaim: “I’m not a racist! The IAT test says so!”
K. A. Appiah wrote a decent piece of literature on what he described as ‘Racisms’.
Check it out. Its well worth a read.
The base of it being… If you believe there are such groupings, or races, then you could be on your way to becoming a racist – then goes on to describe 2 possible different types of racists.
Anyways… studied it earlier in the year. Was fascinated by it.
K. A. Appiah wrote a decent piece of literature on what he described as ‘Racisms’.
Check it out. Its well worth a read.
The base of it being… If you believe there are such groupings, or races, then you could be on your way to becoming a racist – then goes on to describe 2 possible different types of racists.
Anyways… studied it earlier in the year. Was fascinated by it.
haha weird.