Barry Marshall – Remembering A Friend
Last week Thursday I heard that my good friend and mentor, Barry Marshall, had drowned while paddle-skiing in the sea in his hometown of Port Elizabeth. I received the news en route to Dullstroom for a lonely weekend retreat sans Macbook, so had a lot of time to think about things before writing about how I felt.
Barry was special to so many people, as is evident by the numerous tributes I have stumbled across online (Aiden, John, Dion and Clive to name a few), and I am priveleged to say that I know that I was blessed with more of Barry’s time than I deserved or appreciated. He was the kind of guy that everyone wanted a piece of – it’s a marvel to me how he still always found time to have coffee, listen to my childish rants, encourage me and even bring me petrol when I ran out on the N12 highway… twice.
The only tragedy of Barry’s passing is that he leaves such a beautiful family here to miss him, and miss him terribly I’m sure. Maybe the reality of losing him hasn’t quite hit home yet, but I am otherwise simply grateful for the man he was, for the impact he made on the church and community he cared so much about, and the legacy he left behind. It’s not every day you meet a Christian minister who swears in sermons, gives up shoes for Lent, fights for the rights of homosexuals, enjoys Live, Ben Folds and Dave Matthews more than Hillsongs, drives like a maniac, and the list goes on. He lived life to the full, celebrating people, and lifting the lives of those who came into contact with him.
I’m not going to say that Barry’s death has taught me to live differently or change my ways. Knowing Barry, he’d piss himself laughing at me if I got that emotional in a blog post. But one thing Barry always encouraged me to do, from day one, was live a life of significance as opposed to success. I’m not someone who lives by goals or wild ambition, but I do find myself constantly coming back to that question as I view snapshots of my journey: am I chasing success, or significance? Tomorrow, when I attend his funeral with so many friends and acquaintances from my past and present, acknowledging the gift of a human being that he was, I will get to ask it again.
Thank you Barry for all you meant to me and did for me. I will make you proud.
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Life is so damn short. Good memories of good friends will be with us forever. Thanks for sharing Mike. I lost a friend in a botched robbery a few years ago. I often think of him and what we got up to in the late-90’s. Your post also reminded me to take out a Ben Folds Five CD. It has been a while. Great music brings back great memories!
by Marcus Sorour
on 08. Sep, 2009
Strength to you Mike… he had a knack of touching people’s lives, hey. A friend commented on my post and said that Barry’s death is so strange because he was tingling with life…. I loved that… and think it described him well.
by Clive
on 08. Sep, 2009
Sorry to hear this news Mike, my thoughts are with you (and, naturally, his family).
by Chris M
on 08. Sep, 2009
Hello Mike! I was at high school with Barry. He was incredibly bright and gifted and could have taken to any career that required real “grey matter” but stuck to his guns and his calling. I remember his incredible steadfastness when it came to his beliefs about things and I’m sure it served him well in his ministry.
Barry’s death happened so close to our Matric reunion which was in late November last year. Most of us who knew Barry at school feel his loss is such a tragedy. My deepest sympathy to his family and I would love to get in touch with them if someone could give me their contacts.
by Rory Tomlinson
on 12. Jan, 2010