Sep08
04
Why I Love Working At Cerebra
Honestly, I’m convinced we hire some of the coolest and cleverest people in the country at Cerebra. Just take for example this email from Carl, subject ‘Can’t work with this poop any longer …’ which landed in my inbox this morning, had me in stitches, and which I couldn’t help but share publicly. I haven’t changed anything in the mail:
So Craig and I where chatting yesterday about the assorted respiratory conditions doing the rounds at the office.
He mentioned how the “far too plentiful” masses of pigeon poop right outside our windows probably has summing to do with this (never mind the dodgy pond below us with all it’s muck).
So I googled: “dangers of pigeon faeces”
Turns out there are over 50 phun ailments we can pick up from these puppies
I like keeping my window open, I don’t like the constant barrage of snotty, sniffy noses and weirdass coughing et al that’s around (and yeah, maybe it’s just the tail-end of winter sniffles and maybe it’s summing to do with the avian poop barrage around the office park)
So while I love tweety birds in all their bipedal cutesy-ness, I don’t dig having their sewage 50cm from my lungs.
Ideas to stem the tide of birdy guano:
[1] Fill the (what used to be flowerboxes) outside our windows with summing that deters the birds (spikes, thin layer of laundry detergent, Dave Matthews Band cd’s).
[2] Hire a troop of acrobatic scarecrows to krump with menacing intent outside the windows (pretty but prolly too distracting for humans)
[3] Breed a species of super-siamese kitty’s bent on pigeon annihalation.
[4] Arm key personnel (read: maniacal gunslinging okes) with BB guns and birth the sport of: Unclay Pigeon Shooting
[5] There are plenty more ideas but a pigeon just landed on my window sill and is giving me the death-stare. I’m about to take a kitchen knife to it’s well-plumed necky … (Andre, your cats at home may just be inline for a macfeast, Rochester House style)
If any of ya’ll resonate with this mail, come see me in the Geek Quarter to enlist.
And on that note a big welcome to our newest additions, Melody and Leanne - we hope you have fun!
I think there is actually a company that puts up screens to keep the poop generators away from the windows.
Kittie MacFeast’s for everyone!
We could get Black Sabbath to perform. Two for one special - pigeon (heads) eradicated and some dark rock to entertain the entire office block.
Win win
He he. As a vegetarian, I obviously disagree with some of the tactics - like the Dave Matthews bit. Poor birds. I lol’ed.