10 Guaranteed Tips For Driving Less Traffic To Your Blog

  1. Stop posting for 10 whole days.
  2. Use a boring generic WordPress theme as a placemarker while you take too much time redesigning your site.
  3. Stop replying to comments.
  4. Use all the free time you have over two consecutive long weekends to become a better Texas Hold’em player, instead of keeping track of what’s happening in the blogosphere.
  5. Ignore Twitter completely.
  6. When you write, write rubbish.
  7. Mess around with code you don’t understand, and endeavour to screw up the back end of your site beyond all recognition.
  8. Submit your own post to Muti.
  9. Write only 9 tips when you promised 10.

Update:

LOL – this was, unbeknownst to me, the 666th post on my blog… bah!

Popularity: 6% [?]

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18 Responses to “10 Guaranteed Tips For Driving Less Traffic To Your Blog”
  1. It seems you have a similar start to the week as I do Mike. Tired, uninspired and drrripping with sarcasm.

    [I did however spot the reverse psychology traffic generating strategy. Good move]

    by Henré
    on 05. May, 2008

  2. HAHAHAHA – brilliant Mike, love your work.

    by Nic
    on 05. May, 2008

  3. LOL Mike – it’s that time of year…
    I can add a 10th: Don’t check now and then that your RSS feed is actually validating – do not pass go just move to the end of the queue / chart / list….then try and fix it and just bugger it up more….woteva ;)

    by Melissa
    on 05. May, 2008

  4. Nothing like a brilliant post to win your share of the blogosphere back!

    by Dimitrio
    on 05. May, 2008

  5. classic…..your uninspired start is an inspiration to mine

    by gmk
    on 05. May, 2008

  6. Thanks Mike, I needed this big time. BTW I enjoyed your article on your new PVR in the Citizen.

    by Wade Balsdon
    on 05. May, 2008

  7. Oh dear… it seems not everyone caught the irony in your post.

    Nice post for a post-long-weekend Monday :)

    by Simon
    on 05. May, 2008

  8. Rad insight bro, spot on. Makes me realise exactly why I’m such a crap blogger….!

    by Rich...!
    on 05. May, 2008

  9. I think I met all the critieria, except for the fact that my poker game may possibly have gotten worse….bummer

    by Lester
    on 05. May, 2008

  10. Hi Mike

    How about for number #10:

    10) Make up arbitrary lists of 10 things.

    Although in your case it has had the opposite effect, you clever bastard :)

    by Neville Newey
    on 05. May, 2008

  11. Mmm this nasty bug persists. Its time to take this to Muti.. lol – wordpress will destroy privacy..

    by Henré
    on 05. May, 2008

  12. 1, 4, 7, 9 – ROFL!!!

    by Chris M
    on 05. May, 2008

  13. Texas Hold’em is way more fun than blogging.

    by Foxinni - Wordpress Designer
    on 06. May, 2008

  14. mmm i keep getting Henre’s details auto filled in the comment box when i try to fill in a comment of my own, anyone else getting this problem? Mike did u find a solution yet?

    by SimonB
    on 06. May, 2008

  15. SimonB – I was really worried there for a second when I saw a comment I surely didn’t write. lol…spooky in a way.

    by Henré
    on 06. May, 2008

  16. haha…hilarious — good one.

    by matt
    on 08. May, 2008

  17. #3… don’t reply to comments.

    by Mike
    on 08. May, 2008

  18. ????????????

    by ???????
    on 16. Aug, 2008

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