10 Guaranteed Tips For Driving Less Traffic To Your Blog

  1. Stop posting for 10 whole days.
  2. Use a boring generic WordPress theme as a placemarker while you take too much time redesigning your site.
  3. Stop replying to comments.
  4. Use all the free time you have over two consecutive long weekends to become a better Texas Hold’em player, instead of keeping track of what’s happening in the blogosphere.
  5. Ignore Twitter completely.
  6. When you write, write rubbish.
  7. Mess around with code you don’t understand, and endeavour to screw up the back end of your site beyond all recognition.
  8. Submit your own post to Muti.
  9. Write only 9 tips when you promised 10.

Update:

LOL – this was, unbeknownst to me, the 666th post on my blog… bah!

Popularity: 6% [?]

18 Responses to “10 Guaranteed Tips For Driving Less Traffic To Your Blog”
  1. Henré 5 May 2008 at 10:17 am #

    It seems you have a similar start to the week as I do Mike. Tired, uninspired and drrripping with sarcasm.

    [I did however spot the reverse psychology traffic generating strategy. Good move]

    Reply
  2. Nic 5 May 2008 at 10:18 am #

    HAHAHAHA – brilliant Mike, love your work.

    Reply
  3. Melissa 5 May 2008 at 10:24 am #

    LOL Mike – it’s that time of year…
    I can add a 10th: Don’t check now and then that your RSS feed is actually validating – do not pass go just move to the end of the queue / chart / list….then try and fix it and just bugger it up more….woteva ;)

    Reply
  4. Dimitrio 5 May 2008 at 10:27 am #

    Nothing like a brilliant post to win your share of the blogosphere back!

    Reply
  5. gmk 5 May 2008 at 10:48 am #

    classic…..your uninspired start is an inspiration to mine

    Reply
  6. Wade Balsdon 5 May 2008 at 12:59 pm #

    Thanks Mike, I needed this big time. BTW I enjoyed your article on your new PVR in the Citizen.

    Reply
  7. Simon 5 May 2008 at 1:50 pm #

    Oh dear… it seems not everyone caught the irony in your post.

    Nice post for a post-long-weekend Monday :)

    Reply
  8. Rich...! 5 May 2008 at 2:01 pm #

    Rad insight bro, spot on. Makes me realise exactly why I’m such a crap blogger….!

    Reply
  9. Lester 5 May 2008 at 2:36 pm #

    I think I met all the critieria, except for the fact that my poker game may possibly have gotten worse….bummer

    Reply
  10. Neville Newey 5 May 2008 at 3:47 pm #

    Hi Mike

    How about for number #10:

    10) Make up arbitrary lists of 10 things.

    Although in your case it has had the opposite effect, you clever bastard :)

    Reply
  11. Henré 5 May 2008 at 6:09 pm #

    Mmm this nasty bug persists. Its time to take this to Muti.. lol – wordpress will destroy privacy..

    Reply
  12. Chris M 5 May 2008 at 11:06 pm #

    1, 4, 7, 9 – ROFL!!!

    Reply
  13. Foxinni - Wordpress Designer 6 May 2008 at 12:54 pm #

    Texas Hold’em is way more fun than blogging.

    Reply
  14. SimonB 6 May 2008 at 1:00 pm #

    mmm i keep getting Henre’s details auto filled in the comment box when i try to fill in a comment of my own, anyone else getting this problem? Mike did u find a solution yet?

    Reply
  15. Henré 6 May 2008 at 10:01 pm #

    SimonB – I was really worried there for a second when I saw a comment I surely didn’t write. lol…spooky in a way.

    Reply
  16. matt 8 May 2008 at 12:39 pm #

    haha…hilarious — good one.

    Reply
  17. Mike 8 May 2008 at 1:43 pm #

    #3… don’t reply to comments.

    Reply
  18. ??????? 16 August 2008 at 9:20 am #

    ????????????

    Reply
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