Mar08
18
Why I Have A Dodgy Hairdo - Blame Benoni High School
I’m a Benoni boy; born, bred and bloody proud of it. However, it goes without saying that Benoni is not without it’s quirks.
I recently picked up a link from the Benoni High Matric class of ‘98 Facebook group to the Benoni High School website, and in particular these hilarious boy’s hairstyle guidelines (or regulations for that matter…)
Read and enjoy.
BENONI HIGH SCHOOL
BOYS HAIR REGULATIONS
1. The image of the school is more important than the fashion consciousness of the individual.
2. Action against pupils who do not comply with the regulations is taken without continual notice to parents.
3. Pupils who do not comply with regulations are sent for a haircut.
4. The school cannot enter into arguments about hair and no correspondence will be entered into.
5. No exaggerated or cult hairstyles (Mohican, Afro, Mullets, Steps, Rastafarian etc.) are allowed.
6. The overall appearance MUST be natural.
7. NO substance (Gel, Hairspray, Wax, Sugar water, Conditioner, Cream, Colouring, Highlights etc.) may be worn to school.
8. Hair in the front must be one finger from the eyebrows.
9. Sideburns may not extend below the centre of the ear.
10. Hair at the back may not be visible from the front. (Gooness only knows what this means…)
11. Ears must be visible at all times.
12. Hair is not to touch the ear.
13. Hair must be at least two fingers from the shirt collar without extending the neck.
14. A number five hair razor comb for the back and sides must be used with a number 8 razor comb for the top.
15. A number 4 razor comb for the back and sides and a number 6 razor comb for the top will used should the learner fail an inspection.
16. No beards or moustaches are allowed.
THE PRINCIPAL RESERVES THE RIGHT OF JUDGEMENT AS TO THE ACCEPTABILITY OF ANY PERSON’S HAIRSTYLE
’strue as apples I tell you.
Now you understand why I have hair issues…
Mike, first up, that hairdo looks quite cool on you.
Secondly (the ‘hair must not be visible from front’ rule) - if someone has a serous mullet at the back ,the ‘wings’ of it are often visible from the front. Third: They’d made two boo-boos: It sounds like their rules applied only to Caucasian hair and they didn’t so much as MENTION a shaved head - which could be a good way to rebel. Wonder if they still have the regs or whether they’ve now updated ‘em?
lol, I have to agree with Clive! the same thoughts about Caucasian hair came to mind.
No 7. made me luahg - NO substance (Gel, Hairspray, Wax, Sugar water, Conditioner, Cream, Colouring, Highlights etc.) may be worn to school. NO CONDITIONER? how do you enforce that? Surely conditioner is as ‘natural’ as shampoo? gotta love Benoni
Oh good grief.
At least your school had the decency to write them down. When I was in senior school (Kingswood College in Grahamstown), I was always in trouble for wearing the wrong colour ribbons and for things like having a single ponytail at one side instead of in the centre of my head. So I went to the headmaster, Mr. Todd, to demand a copy of the rules once and for all so that I could know what I was supposed to wear. He thought I was mad to ask for them. I should ask Mrs. Fletcher (the housemistress in charge of girls), he said, because the rules weren’t written down and there was no plan to write them down, and he wasn’t sure of them himself. So I asked Mrs. Fletcher, and she told me that we were only allowed to wear black ribbons. So I bought the biggest, widest black ribbons I could find in Grahamstown and deliberately made droopy plaits to look extra nerdy and stupid.
I never smoked or drank booze at school. ( Or after school, for that matter. ) I was the perfect goody-two-shoes, and I did my homework and attended all the compulsory sport. But they didn’t make me a prefect, because I was always contending the stupid rules, like hair and uniform rules, and the fact that I wasn’t allowed to be in the marching band because I was a girl. Girls were allowed to be drum majorettes, but I couldn’t be one because the drum majorettes were selected by first team rugby players, and they wouldn’t choose me anyway because I had ugly legs. Not that I wanted to be one in the first place, but the auditions were compulsory, and a whole lot of us who weren’t centrefold material were humiliated by having to parade around like that in front of the boys.
Another reason why they didn’t make me a prefect was because I proposed that our school should have an SRC or some other form of pupil representation. There had already been a food strike once, and I said that in order to prevent a “revolution” it would be good to give the pupils a channel for voicing their opinions. Well, Mrs. Todd, the headmaster’s wife, heard the word “revolution” and reported to all the teachers that I was a Communist and that I should therefore not be a prefect.
One good way of becoming a prefect, though, was to drink booze and smoke in standard nine, and to bunk out of the hostel once or twice. Then the teachers would imagine that by making you a prefect, you would be so awe-struck and honoured by the responsibility that you would clean up your act in order to be able to set a glowing example for others. Of course this didn’t work. People like our head boy, Gregor Kamstra, still smoked, and Roslynn Naude thought that if the teachers were stupid enough to think they could manipulate her into behaving, they were welcome to their opinions. (She accepted the title, but made no modifications to her behaviour.)
>> 6. The overall appearance MUST be natural.
Right. Then why must your ears show and why must you shave off your beard? That is a most unnatural appearance for a post-pubescent male.